What happened between Taylor Swift and John Mayer?

Taylor Swift has a message for her fans: Don’t cyber-bully the people I write songs about.

The star gave a speech on stage to her fans while on stage for The Eras Tour in the US, before launching into a performance of her 2010 track, Dear John. The song was on the Speak Now album, which Swift is re-releasing on July 7th.

“I was hoping to ask you that as we lead up to this album coming out, I would love for that kindness and that gentleness to extend onto our internet activities,” Swift said.

“I’m 33 years old, I don’t care about anything that happened to me when I was 19 except the songs I wrote,” she continued, adding her listeners should not “feel the need to defend me on the internet against someone you think I might have written a song about 14 billion years ago.”

She then launched into the seven-minute breakup song Dear John, that Swifties have long believed is about her ex-boyfriend John Mayer.

This plea from Swift comes on the back of the 2021 releases of Red (Taylor’s Version) and Fearless (Taylor’s Version), which contained songs about her breakups with exes Jake Gyllenhaal and Joe Jonas.

Both of them were the subject of social media scrutiny as each album was released, as savage Swifties sent them hate messages online for weeks on end.

It seems that Swift is trying to nip this behaviour in the bud, encouraging her fans to keep their cool this time around.

Though she never mentioned him by name, Swift fans have assumed that this on-stage request is in reference to John Mayer. So what happened between the pair and why do people think Dear John is about him?

Taylor Swift and John Mayer dated briefly in 2009, when she was 19 and he was 32. He first reached out to her on Twitter, after Swift said that her two favourite musical artists were him and Kanye West.

He tweeted that he had a song titled Half of My Heart that he wanted Swift to collaborate on. “She would make a killer Stevie Nicks in contrast to my Tom Petty of a song,” he wrote.

Having just released her second album, Swift jumped at the opportunity “I freaked out when I heard, because I’ve been such a big fan of John for such a long time,” she told Elle in an interview. “I’m really excited about just the idea that he would even mention me in his Twitter!”

A few months later, Mayer joined her on stage at the Fearless tour in Los Angeles to sing two songs together. In June 2009, their duet Half of my Heart was released as a single.

Though there were never any official reports that the couple were romantically involved, here’s where fans have dissected lyrics to figure out the timeline.

Is Dear John about John Mayer?

When Swift released her album Speak Now in 2010, fans were quick to assume that the track Dear John was about Mayer. His name is right there, after it all.

Typically, a ‘dear John’ letter is a note from a woman to a man, ending their relationship.

Lyrics of Dear John include:

“Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong / Don’t you think nineteen is too young / To be played by your dark twisted games, when I loved you so? / I should’ve known“

The pop star has never confirmed nor denied who the song is about, but it seems like Mayer assumed he was the subject. Two years after the song was released, he said that he “didn’t deserve” to be called out.

“It made me feel terrible. It was a really lousy thing to do,” Mayer told Rolling Stone “I never got an email. I never got a phone call. I was really caught off guard.”

“[‘Dear John’ is] cheap song writing,” he added. “It’s abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, ‘Wait til he gets a load of this!’ That’s bulls–t.”

It also seems like another of Swift’s ex-boyfriends thinks that Dear John is about Mayer. Taylor Lautner, who dated Swift in 2008, joked that he was “praying for John” when Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) was announced in May.

How long did Taylor Swift and John Mayer date?

They first performed their song Half Of My Heart on stage together during Mayer’s set at the Jingle Bell Ball in 2009. The pair were “confirmed” to be an item at this time by close sources.

Neither Mayer nor Swift ever spoke publicly about their relationship, but it’s widely assumed they dated for a few months, and had split by June 2010.

They were both at the CMT Awards in June but didn’t interact, a moment which potentially inspired another song, Story of Us. She revealed in an interview that it was inspired by her encounter with an ex-boyfriend at an awards show.

“We’re sitting six seats away from each other and just fighting this silent war of ‘I don’t care that you’re here.’ I don’t care that you’re here.’ It’s so terribly, heartbreakingly awkward.”

Swift also reveals this was the last track she wrote for the Speak Now album, which makes sense – it was released just a few months after the CMT awards.

What songs did John Mayer write about Taylor Swift?

In 2013, Mayer released a track titled Paper Doll, about a girl who was too fragile to handle a relationship. One particular lyric Swift fans fixated on was “someone’s gonna paint you another sky”, which parallels the Dear John lyric “paint me a blue sky, and go back and turn it to rain”.

The chorus also contains the line, “you’re like twenty-two girls in one,” which could be in reference to Swift’s song 22.

Another puzzle piece (maybe) fell into place in April 2023. On the same day that news broke of Swift’s split from her ex-boyfriend Joe Alwyn, Mayer chose to perform Paper Doll at his concert, even though it wasn’t on his regular set list.

Perhaps it was a coincidence, perhaps not.

What has Taylor said about John Mayer?

Since 2010, Swift hasn’t spoken at all about John Mayer.

The star has never confirmed who her songs are about, either. Fans believe there are three songs written about the details of her relationship with Mayer: Dear John and Story of Us on Speak Now and Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve on the Midnights (3AM edition).

The latter details a relationship the singer was in at the age of 19 with an older man. Lyrics include:

“I damn sure never would’ve danced with the devil… At nineteen,” and: “Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts. Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.”

Who did John Mayer date after Taylor Swift?

Following his alleged relationship with 19-year-old Swift, Mayer then dated singer Katy Perry from 2012 to 2014.

In 2022, he was spotted leaving a restaurant with 23-year-old Sabrina actress Kiernan Shipka, though no relationship was confirmed.

During an interview on the Call Her Daddy podcast in December 2022, Mayer said he was done with dating.

“Dating is no longer a codified activity for me, it doesn’t exist in a kind of… It’s not patterned anymore,” the Waiting On the World to Change singer said, explaining that sobriety played a big part in his decision.