IN an increasingly virtual world, porn is but a click away.
Half of men and a sixth of women in Britain watch porn regularly, according to a YouGov 2022 survey.
Getty – ContributorYoung man is sitting in bed and touching his face after receiving sad news on his laptop[/caption]
For around 13 per cent of men (but zero women), it’s a daily occurrence.
If you watch porn almost every day, you may have wondered, how often does a person need to watch porn in order to have a problem?
Well, there is no definitive threshold or formal definition of ‘porn addiction’.
In fact, it is not a clinical diagnosis and is given only a mention in the World Health Organisation’s ‘compulsive sexual behaviour disorder’ description.
But it’s a very real issue – and Dr Ree Langham, a porn addiction recovery expert at Stop Together, tells The Sun: “Recent reports have found that over 60,000 people in the UK sought help for porn addiction online last year.
“This has almost doubled from the previous year.
“There are also thought to be thousands of people suffering with porn addiction in silence as well as those who don’t know the signs and symptoms and are unaware they may be addicted.
“It’s thought that 2.5 million people visit porn sites every single second, so the number of porn addicts in the UK is probably much higher than 60,000.”
The Laurel Centre, a porn addiction centre in London, tells the Sun they saw a dramatic increase in the number of people coming forward for treatment, which has not slowed.
Natasha Page, B.A.C.P psychotherapist and founder of My Little Therapy Box, says she has seen an increase in people bringing up porn addiction in her therapy room in the past year: “Whether that is because there is an increase or if it’s because people are feeling more able to talk about it, I’m not sure,” she told the Sun, noting that most of these clients are males in their 20s.
It comes after a number of studies showed that in the early months of the Covid pandemic, porn use spiked.
Most people seek porn for sexual pleasure, but studies have shown there are a number of other motivations, such as to ease loneliness, boredom, anxiety and other negative emotions.
Natasha said: “A lot of people did struggle with mental health in lockdown, and so it can be a form of escapism.”
The temporary relief and feel-good chemicals (like dopamine) that are released in the brain can become ‘addictive’ when a person is looking for relief from life stressors.
Dr Langham said: “As with any addiction, when a substance is consumed or an addictive behaviour like shopping, gambling, or gaming is carried out, the brain links this with feelings of satisfaction, entertainment, relaxation and happiness.
“Over time, this causes the brain’s neurotransmitters to change the chemistry in the brain.
“Your brain becomes dependent on the specific substance or action and requires more of it, at a more regular pace, to feel good and function.
“Just like other addictions, porn addiction desensitises your brain’s reward system and can lead to a loss of focus and concentration as well as mental health concerns.”
Catherine Hood, a specialist in psychosexual medicine, tells The Sun: “There’s a lot of contention about porn addiction, and whether it is actually an addiction.
“Some would say that some people do compulsively view porn.
“But when it becomes a real problem, it is generally people who have anxieties in other ways, or people who have had some kind of trauma in childhood, or who have had any sexualisation in childhood.”
What are the signs?
Dr Langham said people with porn addiction “typically spend around 12 hours a week watching adult content”.
But experts agree that it’s not necessarily how much an addict watches, but rather, the impact it is having on their life that constitutes a problem.
On the NHS page ‘Can you become addicted to sex?’ it says sex addiction is “any sexual activity that feels ‘out of control’.”
Dr Hood said porn addiction is largely ‘self-defined’, adding: “If somebody’s accessing porn a couple of times a week and each time they’re using it for 15 to 20 minutes, that’s not necessarily an issue – unless it’s an issue for them.
“It does tap into our belief systems and cultural and social norms about porn.”
If you Google ‘porn addiction symptoms’, you’ll likely find a variety of descriptions, given it falls under the umbrella term of sex addiction.
Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) says forms of sex addiction are different to a high libido because it’s impossible to stop.
“Sex addicts are unable to stop their self-destructive sexual behaviour”, it writes, noting feelings of shame, guilt, and lack of control arise.
Some say those with porn addiction neglect self-care and responsibilities, engage in illegal activity and live a ‘double life’.
However, they can outwardly live a normal life.
Dr Langham said: “While these individuals are able to work and carry out general responsibilities, including looking after their children, they may engage in risky behaviours such as watching porn at work or even when their children are in bed.
“It’s also not uncommon for people addicted to porn to prioritise their porn use — watching it first thing in the morning, choosing to watch it instead of going to the gym or meeting up with friends or even rushing home to watch it.”
Natasha said: “It’s more on a psychological level that I see the impact; the effect it has on the relationships and their moods.
“That’s obviously when you know that something’s wrong.
“The main theme is that it starts to impact their relationships.
“It may be a loss of interest in sex with a partner, or finding that they’re spending time watching porn rather than having sex.
“Of course, some clients may start to demonstrate more risky behaviour, such as engaging in online groups. In a relationship, that may be viewed as cheating.”
Sexual dysfunction
One of the difficulties facing people who are addicted to porn is the impact it can have on their sexual functioning.
Because porn is so visually stimulating, arousal with a real person may sadly not be so arousing.
Dr Hood says: “Pornography presses all the buttons at once. Whereas with a real person, you’ve got to deal with their emotions and desires.
“You start getting sexual dysfunction because you’re expecting the fantasy and that’s not what you get.
“Some women enjoy pornography but it is mainly designed for male pleasure.
“It can be a problem for young men because they have to learn how to have sex with a real person, which is different to watching sex on a screen.”
Dr Anand Patel, a GP and a specialist in sexual function and men’s health, says the average age a person first sees porn is 13 years old.
“Conversations around pornography or sex in schools are still not mandatory, you can opt out,” he said.
“You wouldn’t watch James Bond to learn how to drive, right? But people are watching porn thinking that’s what sex is because there’s not enough education about it.”
Dr Patel sees cases of “porn-related erectile dysfunction” – difficulties getting an erection due to a lack of sexual arousal without porn.
“The visual stimulation you get from pornography stimulates your brain and erectile centres at a much higher rate than a single person would otherwise do,” Dr Patel said.
He added: “Another issue is when men are masturbating, they’re often using an unlubricated hand.
“Therefore, they’re increasing the pressure and stimulation of the penis.
“The stimulation you get from the mouth, anus or vagina doesn’t feel like a dry hand and is less stimulating.”
How to tackle porn addiction
Porn addiction, whether a real addiction or not, is treated in a similar way to alcoholism or drug abuse.
Dr Hood said: “With any addiction, there’s a need, a habit, a short-term hit, followed by deep depression.
“It’s trying to break that cycle to help people understand their feelings.”
Natasha agreed: “It’s not the act of having a drink that’s a problem.
“It’s the relationship that you form with the thing that you’re addicted to. Treatment is breaking those patterns down.”
Aside from a private therapist, a GP would usually direct someone to a clinic or support group such as SAA.
SAA has grown hugely in the past 20 years, going from around five meetings across the UK per week to 175, offering a space without judgement for groups of people with the same struggles.
Frank, a member of the Sex Addicts Anonymous fellowship, said: “Porn or sex addiction smites anybody of any age, any ethnic or sexual orientation.
“It’s a shame-based illness. And the best way to disperse shame is to talk about it.
“If somebody is experiencing difficulty with compulsive behaviour, especially sexual compulsions, they can come along and experience what it’s like to be in an SAA meeting.
“We suggest people come along for six meetings to see if the 12-step programme is for them.”
Frank advised doing the self-assessment for porn addiction on the SAA website, which includes questions such as: ‘Is your sexual behaviour secret, as opposed to private?’, ‘Do you want to get away from your partner after sex?’, and ‘Are you breaking your moral boundaries?’
Sometimes, Dr Hood says, overconsumption of porn may fade away by itself once other issues are fixed.
“Some people will just go cold turkey and that might work. Those that can’t are the ones that need actual help.”
Porn addiction: signs and symptoms
According to the Priory Group, some signs of porn addiction may include:
Excessive pornography use, to the extent that this has a negative impact on your life or the lives of those closest to you
Increasing amounts of time spent accessing, downloading and viewing porn.
Lying about the nature and extent of your porn use
Becoming angry or defensive if you are confronted about your porn use
Feeling as though you are unable to stop using porn despite the negative consequences that this causes
Experiencing intense cravings to view porn
Feeling irritable or emotionally distressed when you stop using porn
Finding that you need to access progressively more bizarre or extreme types of pornography in order to be satisfied.
Online porn viewing gradually escalates to you using technology to seek out anonymous or paid-for sexual encounters, whether these are in person or via computer video cameras
Using pornography has a negative impact on your relationships
There are significant changes in your sexual behaviour towards your partner e.g. becoming more dominant, aggressive or emotionless
Finding that you need to view porn in order to alter and improve your mood e.g. to relieve stress or reduce anxiety