SARAH PEARSON once stashed wine in the wardrobe to hide her drinking habit – now she’s sharing her story of dependency to prompt others to get free, easily accessible help through the NHS and support groups.
“While I was dependent on alcohol my big fear was admitting it. I thought if I did, my life would be over – I’d never have a job or relationship again,” says Sarah, 45. “But admitting it and getting help was like waking up after sleepwalking for years.”
Sarah: ‘5 WAYS taught me how to live again’
Sarah’s alcohol dependency began in her 20s, and she was the party girl. “I thought my behaviour was normal for someone in their 20s – I was having fun,” remembers Sarah, who works in internal communications for a charity.
“But when I moved in with my boyfriend and the relationship shifted from nights out to staying in and watching television, I struggled. I hid alcohol – white wine or spirits – in water bottles in my wardrobe, and while my partner was in the loo, I snuck upstairs to take a few sips.”
The NHS defines addiction as “not having control over doing, taking or using something to the point where it could be harmful to you and to those around you”.
Certainly Sarah’s drinking had an impact on those around her: Sarah’s partner – now her fiancé – inevitably cottoned on. She gave up drinking for a bit but started again in the run-up to their wedding. Two weeks before the big day, he called off the marriage.
ROCK BOTTOM
But even after being dumped, Sarah still hadn’t reached rock bottom. Instead she was trapped in a vicious circle. “Alcohol was the cause of my pain but also my means of forgetting it.”
All Sarah’s friends slipped away and she was sectioned for a month with alcohol-induced psychosis – but it was another seven years before she entered rehab.
“By my late 30s, I was bloated and depressed. Tests showed my liver was struggling. Exhausted with it all, I told my GP: ‘I don’t want to drink anymore.’”
Help was at hand, as it is for anyone addicted to alcohol, drugs or gambling: Sarah finally went for a week’s residential detox in 2017. She recalls: “We were supported with medication to help with the withdrawal of alcohol, and with group and one-on-one counselling.”
She then connected with 5 WAYS, a recovery centre in Leeds run by an organisation called Forward Leeds that collaborates with the NHS on drugs and alcohol. It’s just one of many great treatment services run by different providers across the country.
“I spent the whole week there. It’s a very holistic approach. There’s counselling and group therapy, and yoga, guitar classes and walks. I even performed at open-mic nights! The centre taught me how to live again.”
Sarah is now inspiring others in their recovery from addiction: if you’re worried you or loved ones have a drink or drug problem, her advice is to seek professional help.
REACHING OUT
“There are people and services that will support you. Talking to your GP is a good starting point. Google local drugs and alcohol services and ring their helpline to chat to someone.
“My worry before reaching out for help was that I’d be judged, but there’s none of that – a lot of people who work for support organisations have experience of dependency. So know that you’re not alone. Help is out there.”
‘FAMILIES NEED EMOTIONAL SPACE’
A year after stopping drinking, Sarah volunteered with a charity that supports carers, including those looking after loved ones with addiction issues. She knows it’s tough for carers – that’s why the professionals can be such a help…
“Mum, Dad, my little brother and sister desperately wanted to support me but just didn’t know how,” Sarah recalls. “They’d try to love me out of drinking, shock me out of it, nag me out of it. When I moved home they removed all alcohol from the house so there was no temptation.”
Sarah advises carers to seek professional support. “It’s a lot of pressure for family and friends. Carers need a safe space to process their emotions but also advice on setting boundaries.
“Parents of people with dependencies who are financially struggling want to give them money. But if someone isn’t feeling the consequences of their dependency, they may not be motivated enough to change.
“Professional advice on these issues can really help.”
TALK TO FRANK
Worried about your own drink and drug problems or a friend’s or relative’s issues? Call national advisory service FRANK on 0300 123 6600 for confidential help and information.