A WOMAN has described how battling anorexia was like living with the world’s worst bully.
Jess Jones, 22, began dieting in the hope of getting a ‘revenge body’ after a relationship break-up.
FOCUS FEATURESJess Jones found herself in the grips of anorexia after wishing for a ‘revenge body’ after a break-up[/caption]
FOCUS FEATURESWhen the 22-year-old was finally referred for treatment, her BMI was so low doctors warned the pressure of water in the shower could trigger a heart attack[/caption]
But she found herself in the grip of anorexia, and believed she didn’t deserve to eat, and was unlovable, fat and ugly.
When she was finally referred for treatment, her BMI was so low she was warned her life was at risk.
Her doctors advised she should not even shower – as the water pressure might trigger a heart attack.
Now, after coming out of hospital, Jess is looking to the future – and wants to warn other young women of the dangers.
Jess, a university student from Leicestershire, said: “Anorexia takes away so much than your health.
“It robs you of your independence, it destroys your relationships and your self-esteem. It steals away your actual identity.
“I started off dieting because of the pressure from platforms like TikTok – and it almost killed me.”
Jess began dieting in early 2020 after splitting from her partner.
She said: “I was heavily influenced by the women I saw on social media, who were all skinnier than me, and I thought that losing weight would make me more attractive.
“I was 5ft5in and eight and a half stone, so already I was a little on the slim side.
“I had just been through a break-up and I wanted a ‘revenge body,’ to make me feel good about myself again.
“At first, I was just cutting calories, but it became an addiction.
“Because it was lockdown, I had nothing else to focus on, and so I became obsessed with not eating.
“I’d binge and then make myself sick, playing loud music in the bathroom and hoping nobody would notice.”
Her illness quickly progressed to anorexia, and Jess felt as though she was living with a constant bully.
“The anorexia told me I wasn’t allowed to eat before 12,” she said.
“It said I was fat and ugly and didn’t deserve food. It said I had to do 20,000 steps a day.
“I was becoming weaker and weaker and yet I was powerless to stop it.
“People kept telling me to just eat, but I couldn’t.”
POWERLESS TO HELP
Focus FeaturesJess said pressure from social media meant her calorie cutting soon became an agonising addiction[/caption]
FOCUS FEATURESJess, pictured now she’s recovering with her mum Deborah, said her anorexia led her to become secretive and deceitful, and lie to her family[/caption]
Jess’s parents, Andrew, 59, and Deborah, 59, and her twin sister, Lucy, were becoming increasingly concerned.
Jess said: “Lucy and I have always been very close, as twins, yet I couldn’t even talk to her about it.
“She wanted to help me, but I didn’t want her help.
“She would do things like slip full fat milk into my coffee and I saw her as the enemy. I didn’t want to gain weight.
“I was very secretive and deceitful. I hid food in the garden, I told so many lies.
I was warned I shouldn’t even have a shower, because the force of the water could trigger a heart attack
Jess, 22
“I’d leave dirty plates and bowls around and claim that I’d eaten.”
She added: “Mum used to cry at night, wondering if I’d still be alive the morning after.
“It was really tough for my family and it caused a lot of conflict.
“I lost touch with many of my friends too. Some just didn’t understand how ill I was. I didn’t socialise at all.
“I had to either defer my university studies or accept an absence, and I became very isolated.
“I was stuck in a black hole of emptiness and loneliness.”
TURNING POINT
FOCUS FEATURESThe first GP Jess saw said she wasn’t thin enough for a referral but her family became so concerned they took her straight to hospital[/caption]
With her family’s encouragement, Jess saw her GP who explained that, with bulimia, she was not thin enough for a referral, and instead ran blood tests.
But by November 2022, her parents were so concerned that they took her straight to hospital, and she was admitted to an eating disorder unit where she stayed for some time.
Jess said: “It was a real wake up call.
“I was told I wasn’t safe to drive, because my BMI was too low.
“I was warned I shouldn’t even have a shower, because the force of the water could trigger a heart attack.
“My periods had stopped, and I was told I might already have fertility issues.
“I had lost my independence and put my life at risk, yet it had all started with a silly diet, with the pursuit of perfection, as defined by social media.
“I saw being thin as somehow glamorous. When in fact, my hair dropped out, my nails snapped, and I was too weak even to walk upstairs.
“There was nothing remotely attractive about it all.”
LIGHT IN THE DARK
Jess has received regular out-patient therapy and 18 months on, she is still receiving support.
But she is making a good recovery. She is almost back to her pre-anorexic weight, and has also continued her university studies.
“I am speaking out because I want to warn other young women, and men, that nothing is worth risking your life for,” she said.
“Anorexia will steal away your happiness, your independence, and your whole identity.
“When I look back at photos from my illness, it makes me so sad. I don’t see myself. I see anorexia.
The signs your loved one is plagued by an eating disorder
ANOREXIA, bulimia and other eating disorders are serious mental health conditions
People in the grips of an eating disorder have a distorted body image, thinking they are fat even when they are dangerously underweight.
Men and women of any age can be plagued by an eating disorder, though it does tend to be more common in younger women, according to the NHS.
Signs and symptoms of anorexia include:
an unusually low body weight
missing meals, eating very little or avoiding eating foods deemed fattening
believing you’re fat when you’re a healthy weight or underweight
taking medicine to reduce hunger pangs
your periods stopping or in teens, periods not starting
feeling dizzy, hair loss, dry skin, brittle nails and other physical symptoms
“I’m very conscious that I might relapse, and I know I’m lucky to have a loving family to support me.
“Trust and communication, both ways, are the most important steps to recovery.
“We’ve come through the hard times and my illness has made us closer than ever.”
Jess is also pushing for more funding for eating disorders.
“I was only entitled to help when I was literally on the point of collapse,” she said.
“My brain was so slow and fuddled, I couldn’t even think.
“It’s not morally right that patients have to be on their deathbeds before the NHS will help them. We need to step in, early, before the damage is done.
“My own story is a positive one. I learned to stand up to the bully, and I got my life back. I hope others can do the same.”
If you or a loved one is struggling with an eating disorder, the charity beat offers support, call the helpline on 0808 801 0677
After 18 months of out-patient therapy and support, Jess is recovering well and is nearly back to her pre-anorexic weightFOCUS FEATURES
FOCUS FEATURESJess, pictured before her ordeal, said she is speaking out to help other young women and men, to warn them that it’s not worth risking your life to be thin[/caption] Read More