THERAPY is slowly losing the stigma it once had – that it’s only for the weak or mentally unwell.
A third of people in the UK have sought help from a therapist, according to a 2023 survey of 5,000 adults carried out by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP).
GettyEvery decade can bring with it new emotional challenges for your health and wellbeing[/caption]
Anxiety, stress and depression are the most common problems driving Brits to a therapist.
But there is a misconception that therapy is only for those with mental health issues.
Anyone can benefit from getting things off their chest with someone they feel safe with, without fear of judgement.
Natasha Page, a Nottingham-based BACP accredited counsellor/psychotherapist, said: “Having space to talk about how they’re really feeling can be one of the most powerful things to move a client forward.
“We’re all human and at some point, we will struggle with issues that affect people at every age. There shouldn’t be shame in accessing support.”
Therapists from BACP – a directory of qualified therapists – reveal the most common problems people talk about by age group.
Children
Natasha, founder of My Little Therapy Box, said issues in childhood are quite broad, but the biggest theme is low self-esteem, particularly in girls.
“That can lead to eating disorders, issues with low mood, depression and self-harm,” she said.
Children may be verbal about how they feel to their parents. But if not, Natasha said to look out for changes in a child’s mood.
“Often a child becomes more withdrawn, tearful, or displays more anger,” she said.
“The earlier the intervention, the greater the likelihood of better outcomes for mental health generally, especially for children.”
20s
Relationships are the biggest themes Natasha sees in those in their 20s, for example:
“People who have perhaps been in a relationship since a young age and now they’re getting older, they are realising that the relationship isn’t for them.”
She added: “Porn addiction has been a common theme as well this year.
“That tends to come up more with men, and less so with women, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
“What I’ve found is that people don’t come to therapy with that on their referral, but it will be featured in their life.”
Another key issue that arises is “body image and self-acceptance issues”.
Natasha said: “Using cognitive behavioural strategies can be quite helpful. It helps the client to recognise their negative thinking patterns.
“Also, considering when these issues may have started to present themselves, for example, has it been through earlier experiences in childhood?”
30s and 40s
Natasha said: “A lot of the issues in these ages are the same – certainly family life, raising children, and parenting.
“People may purposely want to parent differently to the way they were parented, are feeling a lot of pressure or not feeling like a good enough parent.
“It may be adjusting to the new realities of being a parent, or the strain and stress of having a child with disabilities or additional needs.”
Natasha said people tend to come to therapy as parents when the “load has become too much and it may be impacting on their mental health”.
“Obviously you can talk to family and friends. But often they will give their opinion and you might not feel like you can fully share exactly how you feel,” she said.
Work-related problems also come up a lot for those in their 30s and 40s, such as no longer feeling fulfilled.
Natasha said: “It can be hard to change jobs if you’ve got a mortgage, children or other responsibilities, and so some people get stuck.
“A therapist won’t tell their clients what to do, but will help them reflect on issues and come to their own solutions, such as challenging some of their negative beliefs they may have built up, such as that they can’t leave the nine to five and start their own business.”
50s
From this age, the key themes of therapy are around ageing, Natasha said, which can be triggered by caring for older parents.
“It may include coping with changing looks, how you’re perceived and how you view yourself,” she said.
“Certainly menopause is something I work with many women in their 50s.
“It can have a massive impact on their emotional health and cause anxiety and depression when they may never have experienced that at other points before.”
Indira Chima, who runs The Counselling Living Room, said: “This age has the highest rate of divorce.
“There are fewer distractions; children are older and therefore no longer a buffer.
“There is a lack of connection in the relationship and they are less worried financially.”
60s and over
Indira said over the age of 60, those in therapy tend to be disappointed with retirement.
She said: “It’s not what they thought or hoped it would be. They may be bored or have lifestyle clashes with their partner. Their lives may not align anymore.”
Jennie Cummings-Knight, of Golden Leaf Counselling, said: “People tend to become more vulnerable in older age due to failing energies.
“Chronic illness can mean that getting out to social events becomes more of a challenge.
“Often older people live alone, with few family members nearby. They often have a very real battle with loneliness.”
Jennie said bereavement is often a feature of the lives of older people, including of beloved pets who were once a huge comfort.
“Death of loved ones, friends and relatives, can increase the sense of isolation, and can result in the older person becoming excessively anxious about personal illness and approaching end of life,” she added.
Adjusting to living in a fast-paced world can be challenging for older people, particularly if they are dealing with memory issues or Alzheimer’s disease, Jennie said.
“The trend for everything being online is a challenge for many older people and can make them feel useless and disempowered.”
Natasha said: “This age range tends to present less in my therapy room which is interesting in itself.
“I think maybe they do access therapies less. They have more of an attitude of not talking about things.”
If you’re considering therapy, check out BACP’s directory of qualified therapists.