The cowgirl sex position is one of those things that’s seems effortless, but can be surprisingly tricky to get right. Consider, after all, everything that goes into perfecting this girl-on-top position: the synchronization, the tempo, the depth. It’s no wonder you may have a hard time finding that orgasmic pleasure as easily as they seem to in the movies.
Even though the cowgirl position isn’t as natural of a movement as you may think, it becomes a favorite when learned and done correctly, because for most people, it’s a move that perfectly positions you to hit the most sensitive erogenous zones. That’s a reason that a study conducted by Zava, an online healthcare provider, found that nearly 20 percent of people named cowgirl as their favorite sex position.
If you want to experience the hype for yourself, you’ve come to the right place. Allow our two sexual wellness experts to explain how to make the cowgirl sex position feel less like a leg-day workout and more like what you see in sexy shows on Netflix. Enjoy!
What Is the Cowgirl Sex Position?
Also known as girl-on-top, the cowgirl sex position is “a versatile position that can be adjusted to suit different preferences and comfort levels,” says certified sex therapist Aliyah Moore, PhD. In order to get into it, one partner lies down on their back while the other partner climbs on top and straddles their hips – just like they would when riding a horse. Once the on-top partner is comfortable, they can begin to move up and down or grind against the bottom partner, all while controlling the speed and depth of penetration, Dr. Moore says.
Cowgirl Sex Position Benefits
Though there are many reasons why people love the cowgirl sex position, the biggest reason could be because it puts the partner on top in control, says sex therapist Courtney Padjen, PhD, owner of the Centre for Sexual Wellness. This allows the partner to control the pace, depth, and speed of penetration, all according to what feels best for their body.
Compared to something like doggy, cowgirl is also an extremely intimate sex position. “Facing each other during the cowgirl position allows for increased physical and emotional intimacy between partners,” says Dr. Moore. For those whose love language is physical touch, this position allows you to have plenty of that; you can kiss, embrace, and hug, all while having sex.
The angles in this position are also amazing for the person on top if they have a clitoris, says Dr. Moore. The angle provides “direct stimulation to the clitoris” and can lead to a “more intense orgasm” she adds.
Cowgirl Sex Position Tips
Don’t be afraid to pair the position with a sex toy. Because the cowgirl sex position allows for direct stimulation to the clitoris, you can enhance the experience even more with a vibrator. If on top, hold it on your clitoris yourself or tell your partner to hold it there themselves.
Mix up your cowgirl sex position with a variation of the classic. If things start to feel mundane, you can try switching up the position into a reverse cowgirl. This is the same position as cowgirl, except the person on top is turned around and facing their partner’s feet and not their head. (Hence the “reverse” part.) “This variation provides a different angle of penetration,” says Dr. Moore. But maybe even more importantly, it’s a great view of the booty. For another way to level up this position, you can move your cowgirl sex from the bed to a chair for a different type of sensation, as well.
Spell a word with your hips when on top. If you’re not sure how exactly to “ride” on top, an easy hack is to spell a word with your hips. Twitter users recently suggested spelling “coconut,” if you need some inspiration. This will help you to focus on the pleasure and sensations without feeling fumbly and awkward.
Focus on your pleasure instead of insecurities. If you’re nervous about the on-top sex position because your body is fully in display, concentrate on the pleasure you’re receiving, suggests Dr. Moore. Know that while it’s completely natural to feel insecure or unsure at times, especially when trying new things in the bedroom, your body experiencing pleasure during sex is an amazingly erotic experience for both parties. (And I promise, no one can tell how much pizza you ate the night before.) If you’d rather not have your body on display though, Dr. Padjen suggests wearing a sexy slip or lingerie. You can also dim the lights, which could also help to enhance the mood. Just remember that your body is what is allowing you to reach these amazing levels of pleasure, so no need to hide it or feel ashamed by it when you’re on top.