Christina Aguilera has revealed details of the “chaotic” and abusive household she grew up in.
In a recent interview with Call Her Daddy, the popstar alleged she used to witness her father Fausto Aguilera abuse her mother Shelly Kearns, causing the singer to adopt a “protector” mindset.
“I grew up in a chaotic upbringing as a very young child, always feeling like a protector and all that, and always felt isolated in my situation,” said Aguilera, 42.
Listen to the audio above
READ MORE: Twist after actress, 68, sparks outrage with new baby
READ MORE: Hugh Jackman provides relieving update on his skin cancer biopsy
The singer’s parents split when she was six and the star, along with her mother and younger sister, relocated to Pittsburgh, where her grandmother lived.
Prior to the split, Aguilera’s mother attempted to leave the relationship a few times but ended up returning. The star spoke to the stigma surrounding domestic and family violence, explaining that leaving was never a simple decision.
“There was some back and forth. There’s always the tug of like, ‘I’m never gonna do it again,'” she said. “There’s sweet-talking involved. There’s a lot of shame also in like, ‘Well, why don’t you just leave?’ It is so much more complicated than that.”
When quizzed on what triggered her to realise that she was in a dangerous situation or become aware that she was experiencing abuse, the star simply replied “fear.”
“You have to listen to your body,” Aguilera explained.
“Fear is something that you innately feel, so, right then and there you know something doesn’t feel good, and it’s not right.”
READ MORE: Australian singer Matt Corby reflects on his rise to fame
The singer also expressed that the long term effects of abuse have continued decades after her experience.
“And then, you know, having so much compassion for my mother. When you see someone being hurt – someone you love – that … At 42, I’m still affected by this. It’s under the surface. Trauma never leaves you, you just figure out ways to try and heal it.”
The star explained that the experience “instilled a level of purpose” within her.
“I always want to try and empower other people and people in situations where they feel voiceless and unheard. I just have such a deep-rooted need to try and use my voice,” the Burlesque star said.
Reflecting on her own experience as a parent, the Grammy award winner also noted that the abuse she witnessed as a child has informed the way she deals with her daughter.
“I’m so adamant with my daughter. I’m like, ‘First time somebody ever hits you, the first time somebody makes you feel not right about yourself, [you leave],'” continued the Playground co-founder.
“I’m so ‘protective mama bear.'”
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit their website. In an emergency, call 000.
For a daily dose of 9Honey, subscribe to our newsletter here