DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER being starved of sex for 30 years by my wife, I have fallen for a woman half my age.
The love-making is so incredible that I’m desperate to leave home and marry my lover — but I’m old enough to be her father.
I’m 63, she is 31. My wife, 64, is a kind woman but never enjoyed sex. To her, it was an unpleasant task, necessary for procreating.
Once our children — now 34 and 32 — had been born, our sex life disappeared to nothing.
As I love my wife, and we get along as friends, I accepted this as my lot in life. But I missed intimacy and feeling loved, the warmth of a woman’s body against mine.
I met my lover at a work conference. At first, I couldn’t believe a beautiful young woman would be interested in an old man like me.
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I thought she was scamming me or using me for money. But she said she found my intellect a huge turn-on.
We have been sleeping together for almost a year. After three decades without a sex life, I am finally feeling fulfilled.
Despite being 30 years my junior, she has taught me so much about sex — positions I’d never imagined trying, using sex toys and talking dirty.
These are things my wife wouldn’t have dreamed of doing and I can’t get enough of it.
I am sure my wife suspects that I am having an affair but I don’t think she cares.
Would it be wrong of me to leave her and seek some happiness with my lover?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: The rediscovery of sex after so many years without it has made you realise how important it is to you.
But this isn’t everything. And the age gap between you and your lover is significant.
Once the passion burns out, you may find it creates a problem.
You are at very different life stages. She may want children, when yours are already grown up.
She may not want to care for a pensioner while she is still in her prime.
You say you love your wife, so think carefully before throwing away your marriage for sex, which may not last.
Even now, you could still address and improve your sexual relationship with your wife.
My support packs on Age Gap Relationships and Is She Not Keen On Sex explain the issues here.
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