GENTLE parenting has gained a bad rep, with many people saying it encourages kids to walk all over their carers.
But a parenting educator is out to prove that the much-maligned method has it merits, if used correctly.
People have a basic misconception about the practice of gentle parenting, Gabriel Hannans said
Gabriel Hannans, author of This is Parenting: Demystifying Parenthood, took to TikTok to dispel certain myths about gentle parenting and how it works.
He made a video in response to someone on the app who suggested “gentle parenting is for gentle kids”.
“You have no idea what I’ve been through,” Gabriel told viewers.
“I have been slapped, I have been spit on, I have been bitten,” the author recounted, even claiming to have been ‘backhanded by a six-year old’.
Despite all this, the creator – who goes under the handle @the_indomitable_blackman – still insisted gentle parenting is the way to go.
He said people have a basic misconception about the practice, which has previously drawn criticism for being too lenient.
“I use it [gentle parenting] differently than a lot of people,” Gabriel explained.
“I’m trying to tell you it’s not the old ‘oh little Billy, stop. Don’t do that.’ No, that’s not what it is,” he continued.
Instead, he gave an example of what he’d say to a child who was misbehaving using the gentle parenting approach: “Hey, now I already told you like two times that that’s not what we’re doing. So we’re doing this now. This is off limits, you’re not doing that no more.”
He explained: “It’s not about acting gentle … it’s recognising that you have boundaries and you can be respectful with talking with somebody.
“But you’re also effectively communicating, you’re effectively establishing boundaries, you’re not letting kids cross that boundary.”
He said gentle parenting is teaching children why they shouldn’t do the things that they want to “impulsively do”.
“The method works for any child,” he stated.
Working with middle school children on a daily basis, Gabriel said he’d used the gentle parenting with more than 30 children and seen results from it.
Parents not seeing results from the technique might not know the proper way to implement it, he explained.
“That’s why I’m here.”
He urged viewers to watch his and other creators’ videos so they can learn what gentle parenting actually looks like.
His video has received some 2 million views, and commenters seemed to be getting behind the methods he proposed.
One observed: “I was not a gentle child. I needed gentle parenting even more.”
“Gentle parenting creates gentle kids. It’s work just like every other aspect of parenting. You gotta put in the work,” said second user.”
Another wrote: “Gentle parenting is not permissive parenting. It’s just treating kids with respect, and like a tiny human – not tiny adult.”
Gabriel isn’t the only one to take to TikTok to share his novel approach to parenting.
One mum showed how she gave her daughter options instead of orders so she would have a nap.
Another gave her nine gentle-parenting tips for surviving a shopping trips without tantrums.