BOOK the sun loungers for Baden-Baden, England are off to a major tournament in Germany next summer.
Just a game and a half into this Euro 2024 qualifying campaign, Gareth Southgate’s men had virtually secured their place in the finals courtesy of first-half goals from Harry Kane and Bukayo Saka.
Bukayo Saka was the man of the match with a goal and assistRichard Pelham / The Sun
Harry Kane scored his second goal in as many gamesRichard Pelham / The Sun
After their historic win in Italy on Thursday night, followed by this routine victory over a severely limited Ukraine side, there will be precious little jeopardy in England’s six remaining Group C matches.
Southgate won’t be complacent, of course, and as a sensible boss he won’t actually want to go anywhere near Baden-Baden, the scene of the infamous 2006 World Cup WAG circus.
But with two games each against Malta and North Macedonia to come, international breaks are not going to have much intrigue for the next year.
Saka did not actually have one of his better games but within the space of three minutes shortly before half-time, the Arsenal winger provided an assist for Kane’s opener and a gorgeous curling effort of his own which was the one true highlight of a forgettable Wembley afternoon.
Football is clearly no priority for Ukraine right now, with their war-torn homeland invaded by Putin’s Russia, but it has to be said they were extremely poor here and England did not have to be anywhere near their best to chalk up a second straight win.
Kane had been presented with a golden boot, after breaking England’s scoring record with his 54th international strike in Naples on Thursday.
The captain’s wife and three children joined him on the pitch for the pre-match presentation and the match had a low-key testimonial feel about.
And for the first time in living memory the visiting team’s national anthem wasn’t booed, with warm applause all round for the Ukrainians.
Ben Chilwell was deputising for the suspended Luke Shaw, Jordan Henderson – who was probably England’s best player – replaced Kalvin Phillips.
And James Maddison was handed a first international start in place of Jack Grealish, with Phil Foden having had his appendix removed earlier in the day, but despite a couple of promising moments the Leicester man did little to suggest he will become a regular England starter.
Less than 72 hours after their 2-1 win in Italy, Southgate’s men made a ragged start – the tempo slow, the passing wonky.
Kane had a decent shout for a penalty after a shirt pull from Oleksandr Svatok and there was a half chance for Maddison when Anatoliy Trublin spilled a Bukayo Saka cross.
Then Kane, four yards out in his commemorative boots, took an air shot at a Henderson cross.
Maybe it was the clocks going forward but England simply hadn’t turned up to work on time.
The atmosphere was sleepy, the performance was tepid and the Wembley crowd were starting to make paper planes when Kane suddenly cranked England into life.
The skipper swept a crossfield pass to Saka and then darted to the back post to meet the Arsenal winger’s curling cross, beating Aleksandr Karavaev and shinning his close-range finish.
Saka – so good in Italy, so good all season – had actually made a poor start here but in next to no time he managed a high-quality assist and an even better goal.
Henderson fed Saka who swivelled past Mykola Matviyenko and curled a delicious shot past Trublin for his fourth goal in six international appearances.
This fella generates plenty of what the pros call ‘swazz’ – his cross and his finish were both swerving efforts delivered with precision.
Kane was troubling Trublin with a fierce shot saved at the near post and after the break Maddison produced a nifty Cruyff turn but then blazed his shot over.
It feels cruel to write it but Ukraine were pretty hopeless. Chelsea’s £88million man Mykhailo Mudryk was subbed after an anonymous display.
Ivan Toney, facing a lengthy ban for breaking FA betting rules, arrived as a late sub in place of Kane.
And England were rarely out of second gear although Grealish went on a weaving run and teed up his fellow sub Conor Gallagher for a shot saved by Trublin, and then the Manchester City man forced a decent stop with a curling effort.
Vast swathes of the full-house crowd had headed for the Tube long before the final whistle.
We are going to have to get used to plenty of non-events before England roll up in Germany for the serious stuff next summer.