If you want your vulva-owning partner to penetrate you hands-free, it’s time for you to invest in the oh-so-versatile strap-on. A strap-on is a two-piece sex toy that includes a dildo and a harness that secures the dildo to your body, explains Zachary Zane, author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto and sex expert for P.S. Condoms. The dildo is designed to be inserted into the harness through a built-in feature called an O-ring, which keeps the dildo in place while you have oral, vaginal, or anal sex. Typically, the harness is placed below the hips – more or less where a biological penis would be – but there are also strap-on harnesses that anchor the dildo to the thigh, hand, and foot.
Regardless where you decide to place it, the point of strap-on sex is pleasure. Strap-on sex allows people to engage in hands-free penetrative play, no matter their genitals, explains Zane. With a strap-on toy, a vulva owner can penetrate their partner without using their fingers or a hand-held toy. “Strap-on sex also allows penis owners to penetrate their partner if they struggle to maintain an erection, or if their partner craves a larger phallus,” he says.
The specific strap-on you buy will depend on your genitals, as well as your pleasure preferences, budget, and preferred style. But if you need some ideas on where to get started, here are the best strap-ons for beginners and aficionados alike.