A HOSPICE nurse revealed a ‘beautiful’ sign that shows someone is nearing the end of the life.
The subtle sign could indicate that a person has just a few weeks left, nurse Julie McFadden, 41, shared.
YouTubeHospice Nurse Julie McFadden said people nearing the end of their life often show telltale signs that can tip their loved ones off[/caption]
YouTubeJulie aims to combat stigma and fear around death and dying, sharing insights into her work as a hospice nurse[/caption]
The Los Angeles-based registered nurse specialises in end of life care and shares insights from her work with the aim of alleviating “the fear and stigma around death and dying”, according to her website.
Shedding light on the parts of life that many of us are too scared to confront has garnered Julie – known as Hospice Nurse Julie on social media – millions of followers on TikTok and other platforms.
In a recent video posted to her YouTube channel, the nurse revealed two telltale signs she often spots in people who don’t have long left to live – both of which she observed in a patient she was caring for.
Julie described the first one of these as the ‘death stare’.
Despite the ominous title, Julie said this isn’t scary thing for people to experience.
“If you’re not familiar with the end-of-life phenomena, there’s a few things that happen at the end of life to most people,” Julie explained.
“One of the things is called a death stare, which is when someone gets really fixated on a certain part of the room, and no matter what you do.
“You can snap your finger right in front of their face – an they will not move their gaze.
‘Sometimes they just stare. Sometimes they will talk to someone who you don’t see.
“Sometimes they’ll have a big smile on their face, like they’re seeing something that’s obviously making them very happy.”
Julie shared how an elderly man she’d recently visited had exhibited the death stare, emphasising how it’s nothing to be afraid of.
The man and his wife – his main care giver – were both in their mid to late 90s and been married for 70 years, Julie said.
“I instantly loved these two. They were so, so, so sweet,” the nurse recalled.
“They still seemed to be pretty madly in love.”
She described her patient as ‘pleasantly confused’: he could recognise his wife and was happy to see Julie but couldn’t keep up with conversations so well.
As Julie was checking him over, she noticed that “he would be looking at me and smiling, then suddenly turn his head and be fixated on another part of the room”.
He’d then break out in a “huge smile, like he was seeing something over there,” Julie went on.
Even though I am a hospice worker, it still always floors me hearing the stories in real time and seeing them
Julie McFadden
The man kept doing it the whole visit, glazing over as Julie was chatting to him and grinning while she tried – and failed – to get his attention.
“I wanted his wife to see this because a lot of times these end-of-life phenomena can kind of give you a timeline of when this person may be dying,” Julie explained to viewers.
“I usually starts happening a few weeks to a month before someone dies.”
It turned out that the patient had been staring off into space and smiling for a about a week, multiple times a day.
His wife had even managed to find out what he’d been looking at so intently – “that doesn’t happen often”, according to Julie.
“He said ‘Jesus,” the wife told Julie.
The hospice nurse noted that “many people say they see many different things and it usually depends on what religion they are”.
“The great thing is, whatever he was seeing, he was very happy, and he was smiling,” Julie stressed.
But “sometimes they don’t see any kind of deity at all. They say: ‘I see beautiful clouds’ or ‘I see flowers’. Some people see Jesus or God or angels.”
End-of-life ‘visioning’
Another telltale sign Julie often witnesses in people who don’t have long is what she called ‘end-of-life visioning’.
“It’s one of the main phenomena’s that we see as healthcare workers at the end of life,” the hospice nurse said.
“This is when someone sees someone who has died already that they usually love and know,” Julie went on.
This could be their parents, other relatives, an old friend, even a pet.
A person at experiencing ‘visioning’ might even “have conversations right in front of us with these people that we don’t see”, Julie said.
As Julie talked to her patient’s wife, it emerged that he was experiencing end-of-life visioning too.
The wife shared that her sister had recently passed away but she’d been reluctant to share it with her husband for fear of saddening him when he was already in a vulnerable state.
After a week of feeling guilty, she decided to come clean to her husband – but it turned out he already knew.
According to Julie, he matter-of-factly told his wife: “She came to me last week and told me she had died.”
The nurse said: “I’m getting chills telling you this story.”
The wife told Julie that her husband was smiling as he told her this “like he was OK with it”.
“Even though I am a hospice worker who tells you over and over again that these things happen all the time, which is true, it still always floors me hearing the stories in real time and seeing them,” Julie added.
She’s not the first hospice nurse to share that death can be beautiful, with TikTok nurse Julie McFadden stating that dying should be celebrated.
Meanwhile, a doctor revealed the four things that happen to everyone as they die.
What is end of life care?
END of life care is support for people who are in the last months or years of their life.
It should help you live your last days as well as possible and help you die with dignity, according to the NHS.
Depending on your needs, different health and social care professionals may be involved in your end of life care. They can include hospital doctors and nurses, your GP, hospice or social care staff, chaplains and physiotherapists.
End of life care can last a few days or months, or sometimes more than a year.
Though it isn’t always possible to predict, people are considered to be approaching the end of life when they are likely to die within the next 12 months.
This includes people who might die imminently, as well as people who:
Have an advanced incurable illness, such as cancer, dementia or motor neurone disease
Are generally frail and have co-existing conditions that mean they are expected to die within 12 months
Have existing conditions if they are at risk of dying from a sudden crisis in their condition
Have a life-threatening acute condition caused by a sudden catastrophic event, such as an accident or stroke
If you are approaching the end of life, or caring for someone who is, and you want to find out about the care and support available, your first step is to speak to your GP or to call the number your healthcare professionals have given you.
They can help you understand the services available to you locally.